Reflections

The universe relies on balance to exist. Our bodies require balance to stay upright. Doctors say eat a balanced diet. The book stores are full of self-help books about how to balance home and work. The laws of physics rely on a balance of a negative for every positive. Ying-Yang, light-dark, heat-cold, wet-dry. All things require balance. Good things happen along side the bad things,  year in and year out.



This is the time of year when most of us look back on the year that is coming to and end and are glad it is over. We post memes on our social media accounts with antidotal quotes about how the previous year can go specific places or kiss certain parts of our anatomy. It occurred to me, it is rare to see someone post on Facebook this time of year what a wonderful year they had and hope the coming year is just as good. Just to be sure I went through my account looking for a post over the past years that stated something to that effect. I found nothing of the sort. Quite the opposite. Why do people reflect so negatively on the year that is winding to and end and look to the new year with hope for better times only to end that year once again weary and glad that it is over?  Are our lives really that bad?

I offer this as an answer. Good things are generally well laid plans that work out. Joy is easy to feel, we kind of soar on it, like a bird riding high on the thermal currents. It is effortless to experience the euphoric joy of a child being born, or a wedding or a bucket list vacation. Pain takes us by surprise, as if a trap door opens under you while you stand in line at the grocery store. It requires a great deal of energy and demands all our attention to experience. It consumes us completely. Therefore, it is quite memorable. I spent some time recalling very painful memories in my life and realized that it is hard to remember that the day, weekend or even month leading up to that terrible event was relatively good and uneventful. The good memories are shrouded by the bad. Painful memories are the ultimate photo bomber of our memory bank.

2017 was a difficult year for many people close to us. It was marked with staggering losses for many of our loved ones; seven funerals in all this past year. Others close to us are facing serious health issues of their own or their loved ones.  To test the principal of balance I went back through the year in my mind one night during a bout with insomnia and searched for the good memories. Buried under the bad stuff I recalled there was also a baby born in our family and two couples we know got news that they were going to welcome their first grandchild early next year. Two of our kids earned job promotions. Two friends got clean bills of health after facing cancer the previous year.  As I consciously pushed back the heavy stage curtain of bad memories and searched in the wings, a photo reel of happy memories like returning to Iowa last spring, time with kids and grandkids, friends buying new campers, travel, (ours as well as others) our first full year as RV Volunteers and all of the special people we are meeting along the way, began to push the painful memories to the side.

Whatever your year was like, my wish for everyone is take a few minutes and work hard to remember everything good about 2017 and let it be the star of the year. Don’t let the painful memories  consume all you feel this time of year. Change, sometimes very painful, is inevitable.  Bad memories will be present at the end of every year. Let them exist in the balance, but work hard not to let them tip the scale.

Happy Old Year- Happy New Year!

Until next time…

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable"  ~Mary Oliver