Saylorville Lake – Rain 80 Degrees
I was getting my hair cut yesterday and Erin, who has been cutting my hair for years, asked me if it gets easier leaving each fall. I thought about that for a moment and realized there wasn’t a quick answer to that question. I kind of talked through my initial thought process for a minute without really answering her question. It was deeper than it appeared at first.
So today as I ponder ‘What’s it like?” I have had 24 hours to mull that one over.
The first fall we felt much anticipation and no idea what we would think of being away for the winter. We were both ecstatic to being escaping winter weather but other than that we really didn’t know how it would feel or what we were getting into. We were both pretty certain we would like it. That first fall as we gathered our growing family for a big fall dinner, we thought about Christmas and how hard it would be not to be present for the winter birthdays. The kids were still visibly shaken that we were really going to do this. We were still trying to get used to the idea that we had sold our home and not bought another one the same day.
Flash forward to last fall, our second year. I think it was harder to say goodbye. We knew Christmas would suck, there’s simply no nice way to say it. We were looking forward to the culture of the snow bird RV park where we knew we would socialize all we could stand and have the comfort of that community for big holiday potlucks where we could eat too much and share our misery of being away from the kids with other snowbirds. We knew we would enjoy our time in Texas and were looking forward to another year in a new area and a new volunteer gig that January. We left knowing we would come back to Volunteer Village with some of the same people. The agony for us was the nagging guilt for being excited to get to our winter destination away from sub-zero temps and feet of snow. We were dreading having to watch winter birthday candles be blown out through Video calls. Last winter brought a new twist. We had serious health issues at both ends. Our daughter’s family was severely stricken with flu, consecutive times resulting in the 3-year-old being hospitalized. It about killed me not to be home to help. The only thing that kept me from getting in the car and driving the 16 hours home was the knowledge that JP’s parents were there and a great source of support to their young family. I did get close enough to have the route in my GPS with a route and ETA. I was literally one text with more bad news away from heading to Iowa. Champs emergency surgery was another event that got every one’s attention. We both just kind of dealt with it. The kids shared later, how hard it was to get that call and not be able to come to the hospital but, be at the mercy of whatever news came in the next phone call or text.
We have no intention of making any changes to our routine. I imagine all snow birds go through this to some extent. Travel comes with trade-offs and taking a hiatus from being present in the kid’s geographical space is the big kahuna of trade-offs.
The answer I guess is “no, it doesn’t get easier.” I think there will be a progression of it being harder for who knows how many years depending on the experiences that test the distance between us and the kids from year to year. I do think at some point the angst of leaving in the fall will plateau for all of us. We are fortunate to have close relationships with our kids and grandkids. I take comfort in that and never forget they are sacrificing as well, so Champ and I can do this. It is a great gift to have supportive family and friends.
Until tomorrow...
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